I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
