Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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