Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
