goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
