too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
