We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
