I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
