so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
