Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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