she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
