I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
