My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
