There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
