Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
