fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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