The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
