Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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