dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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