i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the day after is always just damage control
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
