When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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