Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
