The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
