I'm going to jail i love you
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
