Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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