Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
