Farmville is her only friend.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
