the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I will pee on everything he values.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
