i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
