He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
