you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
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