The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
