smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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