its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
