just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
