In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
