Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
