He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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