I skipped work to stalk him.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
