So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
