I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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