I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
