My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
