If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
