Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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