at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
