Me too!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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