So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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