She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
