Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
