wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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